‘Twas the night before Christmas, and though Pru was squrimin’
Not another was stirring, not even the vermin;
Cal’s stocking was hung by the window with care
In the hopes that Saint Gertrude soon would be there;
And Prudence was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Silly Songs danced in her head;
And Sarah with Buckley and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
In Sponge Bob pajamas I flew towards the door,
With nary a hint as to what was in store.
The view through the peephole provided no inkling,
Just our neighbor’s front door, with hallway lights twinkling.
Then I, having carefully undone the locks,
Saw nine tiny penguins, pulling a box
A driver, his clothes remarkably funky –
I knew he must be the Christmastide Monkey.
Slow as a turtle, down the carpet they came,
And he hooted, and grunted, and called them by name;
“Now, Red-One! Now, Scarfy! Now Mother-and-Child!
“On, Gentoo! On, Cutie! On Rockhopper wild!
“Push on Mini-King, for we’ve work yet to do!
“Keep to it, The-One-From-The-Central-Park-Zoo!”
As slow as molasses drips out of a jar,
They drew ever closer, though yet were quite far,
So out of my doorway I went up to meet them,
Without any clue as to how I should greet them.
And I heard, as I stood in the hall in my slippers,
The wet “slap-slap-slap” of all of their flippers.
As I was distracted by all of this racket,
The Christmastide Monkey leapt into my jacket!
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his paws,
And a small Calvin Coolidge was clenched in his claws.
And from this wee monkey there came such a noise,
That scarce did I notice his sack full of toys.
His eyes how like marbles! His muzzle so downy!
And a smiling expression a little bit clowny.
His eyebrows were arched with a spirit of fun;
His left ear was curled like a cinnamon bun.
On his brow were a pair of 3-D glasses,
Which doubtless he thought were a charm to the lasses;
He had a round head, and a plush little body,
That was warm in my arms, like a cup of hot toddy.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old ape,
Who was quick with a laugh, and quick with a jape.
With a wink of his eye and a quick “Ooo-ooo-ooo,”
I knew right away what he’d come here to do.
He spoke not a word, but unfolded his tail,
And happily showed that he’d brought up my mail.
And what else was hid in that prehensile curl?
A Trogdor onesie – a gift for my girl!
Then he leapt to his box, with his team moving quick,
Like the carpet was icy, Antarctic and slick.
As he called for the elevator to go down,
I noticed my face started cracking a frown,
But I heard him exclaim, from the down elevator,
“Merry Christmas, my friend, and perhaps, see you later!”